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Leslie Jones
I TP'd Sheryl Crow's house...with one square.
Interests
Roadtrips, photography, writing, film making, living a healthy life style.
Books
Are full of words...words, words and more words.
Movies
Go good with popcorn.
Television
When I was a kid, my brother showed me how to unplug the television cord from the wall socket and stick a butter knife into it. Who needed fireworks?
Blog
THE BEAST
When my mother moved into a new home with central air, I thought she would finally get rid of her ancient, industrial strength air conditioner. But, she said she needed back up in case the central air went down. My brother, Bob dutifully tried to cram the beastly relic into every window in the house, until his wrist was sprained and it was verified that the air conditioner, now dubbed "The Beast" would not fit into any of them. There were some other orifices, Bob mentioned, that he would like to stick the Beast up, but luckily his injury prevented him from doing so.
My mother is the original recycler. Throughout our childhood my siblings and I were made to feel guilty if we threw what most people considered trash, into the trash. So I agreed to store the "The Beast" in my garage until Hell froze over. After winter rolled around and Hell had not yet frozen over, my mother agreed that the air conditioner could go to the highest bidder. I placed an ad on Craig's list. One person showed up, laughed and left.
Now, three and a half years later, the Beast still sits in my garage.
It would be my pleasure if someone would take it off my hands for twenty bucks, CASH only. Sorry. That's all I can afford to pay.
August 27, 2009 7:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | Add Comment
About Me
Last year, I experienced the worst day of my life, almost dying at the hands of a doctor as he assaulted me verbally and physically. As I struggled to survive, I called out to my children. "My children are good! They do good things. I am a good person! I can help people! It was only then that I realized, I believed in God.
I have always striven to live a healthy life and I am doing everything in my power to heal, but because of the assault by that doctor, my health is forever compromised.
We later discovered that the doctor has an extensive drunk driving record, for which he has been jailed in the past. He has practiced in several states, but settled in Wisconsin, #49 in rescinding doctor's medical licenses. Lawyers are now involved, so I will have to save the rest for later.
The following bio is over a year old. I will be updating it in the near future.
I am the mother of four wonderful children. The youngest is twenty one, so perhaps I should say, four wonderful adults.
I loved being a stay at home mom, but sometimes had to work part-time. The health food and book store would have been bearable if I wasn't constantly thinking of my kids. And, at least the department store offered a discount on kids clothing. Besides, prior to my marriage, I picked pickles, tallied Christmas Trees, cut loose threads from athletic uniforms and was a switchboard operator at the Chicago Archdiocesan Center of Christian Doctrine. Try saying, "Good Afternoon, Archdiocesan Center of the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine" eight hours a day. And, who even knows what a "Switchboard Operator" is anymore. It sounds kind of Kinky - I should have gotten paid more. I also waitressed. Some of my favorite people are waitresses, but I felt like a prostitute, whoring for tips. (Some of my favorite people are also prostitutes.)
After my last child was born, I started modeling...maternity clothes (Yay), with a pillow stuffed under my panties. After a few modeling gigs, several aquaintances congratulated me (for what, I did not know). I later realized that they thought the pillows were more babies.
Then, one day I woke up and decided that I would start using the creativity, that I had been mollifying by making cupcakes and Barbie clothes, in a way that was, if not more satisfying, at least more respected. Boy, was I wrong.
P.S. Prostitutes aren't really my favorite peeps. Shhh...I don't want to piss off the prostitutes.
Goal
To continue growing and learning.
My youngest son is a rough and tumble rugby player. My oldest son and both of my daughters have run marathons. My oldest daughter has completed a triathlon.
They have inspired me to train for a "half" marathon. I am halfway to the "half".
UPDATE: I completed a half marathon in Deadwood, South Dakota, June 8, 2008. My new marathon goal is to tap dance my way to the finish line.
Professional Experience
I am a lover of life's pursuits.
January 2007 - Present
Small town Wisconsin is about as far as you can get from the entertainment industry, but I've managed to get a few small shots in. Acting roles in two "Unsolved Mysteries" episodes, notably the lead in "The Talman family ghost story" (now on the CD set) brought fame and glory to my small town. I do jest, as it may have been to that towns embarrassment that I performed on JENNY JONES TENTH ANNIVERSARY TALENT CONTEST. The event was to celebrate the tenth anniversay of Jenny's big break, when she won the grand prize in stand up comedy on STAR SEARCH. Chosen from thousands of videos sent in from around the country, I did not have to compete in a category, though I had every category covered. I was chosen as a segue act, to perform between the categories. Jenny requested that I perform my JOHN TRAVOLTA imitation dance from SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER. Though the show was filmed live on one day, it was broadcast on two seperate shows. I had several other characters on my video and I could do any that I liked for the second show. On impulse, I tossed a blonde wig and spandex dress into my suitcase. Who hasn't? In my hotel room the night before the early morning taping, I created the bimbo contortionist, Babette.
I've written, directed and acted in several plays, performed improv in COMEDY SPORTS & performed improv & written sketches for THE ROYAL N.Y. AVE COMEDY CONSORT. Acting roles include, ROSE MARY in ABIE'S IRISH ROSE and SMERALDINA in SERVANT of TWO MASTERS. Memorable musical roles include; PISTACHE in CAN CAN and LOLA in DAMN YANKEES. I also choreographed my solo dance's in the fore mentioned musicals.
My stage plays, WHAT, NO BACON? (Company for Wisconsin Arts Grand Prize winner), CHRISTMAS IS FOR EVERYBUNNY, HAND-ME-DOWN HANNAH & NO TV 'TILL THE DISHES ARE DONE have been produced at several theatre's in Wisconsin.
Encouraged by my son, who was a top ten finalist for a Nicholl Fellowship, I tried my hand at screenwriting. My first screenplay, JUST A ROADIE placed in the semi-finals of Scriptapalooza and was a finalist in the comedy catagory of THE PAGE International Screenwritng Awards.
I am wrapping up production of my short film, A PENNY SAVED IS A PENNY STOLEN. I have several more short films waiting for a producer.
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