Angie Lau

Forward, Backward, Upward and Downward or Doing Time with My Story

Today, I have finished rewriting my "prison drama...and a romantic drama" script.

When I first wrote the story, I have the protagonist executed at the end and his father-in-law and wife buried him in a family plot. However, I was inspired by the story of John "Babbacombe" Lee ("The Man They Couldn't Hang"). Then I was thinking, "What if the protagonist survives the attempts of execution?" Also, some friends commented that the ending was so sad, and they want to see if the protagonist can live with his wife as a freeman. After compiling the information, I started writing the "alternative ending" and it took me four years to finish.

Yes, I had written a crazy story at that time (in my opinion).

Therefore, my current version of script is a condense of two stories.

While I wrote the first version for my scriptwriting course, I made a couple changes on the story: this included adding a couple characters and deleting a couple characters (even one that I think I should not taken him out). On the other hand, when my classmates knew about the script and the ending, they just said, "I can't accept it!"

After finishing the diploma, I was thinking about challenging my skill as scriptwriter. I took one more look on the manuscript. The challenge came up: retelling the story with the happy ending!

It took me some time to start up. Even though I have been "doing time" with this story since 2001, I did not know how to start the story. Then, I thought of "English Patient", the film that I won't challenge again but the structure worth to take a look. I never went through it, but it gives me an insight of how to start the story.

While I wrote the script, the challenge surfaced: How am I going to condense the story? Since there were scenes that I don't need to type again (But I still want to try typing script with a typewriter! Yup! The Remington one...), I wrote in between tabs. This time, I went to my favourite script: The Shawshank Redemption.

"The Shawshank Redemption" is an excellent example for voice over. Under the influence, I "blindly" wrote the voice over, narrating the story with the voice of the characters, sync with the style of how I wrote the novel. And I used the skill of radio-play at the end of the script.

At first, I don't think that there is something "wrong" with the "narrating voice over". However, the feeling of "wrong" when I tried to fix all the typos and grammar mistake (sometimes, I really want to kill myself over those stupid mistakes). I reread the last part, and the second voice over....and the voice over....it just didn't "sound" right in one particular place. It gives me a rethink about using voice over.

The next thing I did, is putting Billy Wilder's advises to screenwriter on my desktop (I'm also a Photoshop geek). One of his advises is about voice over...and then, I realize what's "wrong" with the voice over.

For this version of the script, I always have the problem with the length. Previously, I had 129 pages, which is pretty long of someone's first script. And I always try my best to shorten the script. However, there is too many details for the story....I may be lost.

I think I never told you guys about my first script: My first script is a radio-play.

This story is about how other characters think about the protagonist, how this prisoner affect their life. Therefore, "fact" is not quite important. The most important thing for this story, is how these characters feel.

The conclusion I have drawn: Let them do the talking!

I started deleting most of the voice over and wrote the VOs in dialog style, not to mention that I had reconstructed a couple scene, with one thing in my mind: LET THE FEELING OF THE CHARACTERS GO THROUGH!

Right now, I trimmed down to 125 pages....not bad, eh?

I never realized that I have solved this problem by going back to my basic. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say.

Well, it should be the time for me to start "Sea Max", even though it official begins!

November 16, 2009 6:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Add Comment