Is Pitching To A Female Producer Different From Pitching To A Male Producer?

Don't call me sexist. I have noticed some really attractive producers
lately. You know - that sexy and intellectually tight bitchy Debra
Louise Whalen Barone (Patricia Heaton) look from EVERY LOVES RAYMOND.

Pitching to female producers is an art. The old boring school of pitching
is not going to work her. Trust me. I found out the hard way.

Here are some pointers when pitching to female producers:

POINT#1 - 'SMELL"
Female Producers tend to start off with their nose (it's a bit like
friendly foreplay, without the sex part). So all you gentlemen
screenwriters out there - wear cologne or body sprays consisting of one of
these: lavender, pumpkin, coriander leaves etc. Women producers will love
you. Also spray them on your neck and wrists, twice. And if you're doing
well financially, get some popular cologne made out of these sweet
smelling "synthetic" ingredients (some found in nature): thyme, cucumbers,
black liquorice, bay leaves and ripe lemon(for example, Georgio Red for
Men).

POINT#2 - "THE COLOUR OF YOUR TWEETS"
Women producers are turned on by the color RED. The color personifies
wealth, big budget, high-concept and high-profile director etc.
Red is the universal color of romance and basic primordial instincts that link
the color with sex (but not actually doing it). You want a female
producer to fall in love with your intelligence, your screenplay and your
charm. So wear some RED and help her consolidate the magic of cinema which is all
about "ROMANCE".

POINT#3 - PRETENT YOU ARE A TAD HIGH OR INTOXICATED
Act a tad tipsy. Women producers love that. Tipsy guys are cute and doesn't make you
look anal. For example, when I'm tipsy, my wife loves it,
because she gains complete control and does whatever she wants. Same
with a female producer. She wants to temporary know that she has full control
over you. To nurture and protect you.

POINT#4 - YOUR BELLY BUTTON AND YOUR MID-SECTION
Make sure you position your belly button and your small and large
intestine towards the woman producer. Women talk with their tummy and outies facing
their guest. This is not a well known fact. Practice aligning your stomach
and belly button with hers. Notice this behaviour when you're at the pitching festival -Expo, Austin etc. The stomach is the most important part of a female producer's instinct. It gives life. It gives you a start in life.

POINTS#5 - DON'T GO TO THE GYM, BUY SHOULDER PADS
Women producers love a guy with broad shoulders. Wear medium sized
shoulder pads. Female producers detest guys with overly disturbing masculine
features. The broad shoulders will balance your kinder and softer sides.

POINT#6 - TELL THEM YOU ARE RISK MAXIMUS
Female producers love adrenaline and risk junkies. You will know this by
watching the technique, style and torque etiquette she uses to cross
her legs. The more stylistic the legs crossing, the more she's open to your
cinematic vision.

POINT#7 - PRETEND SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOTHER (in her 20s)
Male are more likely to option their script to a female producer who
is morphologically similar to their mothers.

POINT#8 - LIGHT CASUAL TOUCHING
if the female producer invites to sit on a couch. Every female producer's
office has a set of couch. See if she touches you casually. You know, she
might touch your arm, elbow, wrist, hands, and shoulder. The most important
advice here is that you have to freeze when it happens and give her a big
friendly smile.

Hopes this helps, on your next time your pitch to a belle female producer.

Good luck.