Notes For A New Writer - An Open Letter

I read your first ten pages. I’ll hit the good then address the bad.

I like how you portray James as just some guy getting ready for the day then revealing the wad of cash and gun, showing me that this dude is bad news or at least is in the business of bad news.

Your dialogue is pretty good. It could use some tweaking, but it’s expected for a first draft. Overall, it reveals the characters in a real way and makes them human (i.e., people we can relate to).

Now the bad.

Your descriptions are way to long. Bottom line, you have to shorten them up in a big way. The problem with long descriptions is that it takes forever to get to the meat of the story. For example, after ten pages I should have a pretty good idea of not only who the main characters are, but what their goals might be. Now this isn’t always the case, because the first major plot point doesn’t usually happen until around page 25 in a three act script. However, there is usually a sub-plot point at around page ten. Pull me in as quick as possible. Like a song, a screenplay needs a hook and that hook should happen at around page ten.

You had some grammar problems in your descriptions. Clean that up. It’s okay to fool around with grammar in dialogue, but it is a no-no in action. Aside from incomplete sentences, you pretty much need to stick to the rules of grammar. Here’s an example of what I mean by incomplete sentences:

James is in the room. Exhausted. No time to think.

The short incomplete sentences cause a sense of urgency in the reader. You read it faster, making you think that something is going to happen. A trick of the trade.

Some common grammar problems with new writers, and even veteran writers are: using “then” instead of “than”, “your” instead of “you’re, “there” instead of “they’re” or “their”, going between past tense and present tense, forgetting the words “is” and “a”, not using apostrophes correctly, etc.

Get a pocket grammar book for quick and easy referencing while you’re writing. Even the best writers depend on a grammar book to help them out. English is one of the most complex languages on the planet. No one can know everything about it.

Now, here are some things that will really help you in fine tuning your craft.

First, realize that screenwriting is very difficult. It’s not like prose where you can go off on a tangent describing everything there is about a character or thoughts or anything. That's not to say that prose isn't difficult, but it's the one form of writing everyone is more familiar with. In screenwriting, one must tell a story in pictures in about 90 to 120 pages. After all, that’s the end goal: translate the writing into moving pictures. Improve your vocabulary by using a thesaurus, finding more descriptive words that convey emotion and word pictures.

Second, read screenplays before you start writing screenplays. I can tell by your first ten pages that you’ve seen a few screenplays, maybe even read the formatting section of “The Screenwriting Bible,” but I can also tell that you haven’t read many, if any good screenplays. Go to www.script-o-rama.com and start reading scripts. Begin with your favorite movies then move to award winning movies. Read similar genres that your story is going to be in. Take note of the way the writers communicate their vision. Try to stay away from shooting scripts. They are jammed with directions and camera angles, useless to a screenwriter.

Third, read some books on screenwriting. A few that come to mind are: The Art Of Screenwriting, The Screenwriting Bible, and Syd Field’s books. These books are not the end all to be all, but they’ll help you understand the craft of screenwriting.

Fourth, study movies. Pay attention to how the plot points come about, how characters relate to one another, and so on. Watch movies with screenwriter commentaries, too.

Fifth, live life. Nothing adds to a writer’s quality than actually experiencing life. You’ll have more to offer in the long run.

I hope this helps. You can do it if you are willing to put in the work and have the patience. Good luck and good writing.