Slap Shot

Well, I was asked to do a review of my favorite sports movie of all time. It was supposed to go out in a news letter, but unfortunatly it was considered a little too much, as am I much of the time. So, I decided to post it here for all of you unwashed masses. Enjoy, or be offended. And remember, the word "Art" means to irritate.

REVIEW FOR SLAP SHOT

As a guy who considers SportsCenter his major source of world news, choosing a favorite sports movie is a daunting task. Many great titles come to mind: Brian’s Song, The Longest Yard (the one with Burt, not Adam), North Dallas Forty (awesome), Hoosiers, and even Jerry Maguire. The list is endless, really.

But there is one that stands out in this Canadian boy’s mind. It’s Slap Shot. Yes, a movie about hockey - something that few Americans outside of the Northeast have embraced - and when they have, name their teams after ducks, mighty ones at that. Yes, a hockey movie that isn’t about that one time the Americans beat the Russians in Lake Placid. Granted, Miracle was a good movie. It’s just not Slap Shot.

When one looks at Slap Shot as a film, it has everything a sports lover could ask for. First, let’s summarize its plot for those who don’t know. The Charlestown Chiefs are a failing American minor league team in the seventies that finds success through on-ice thuggery and violence. Do I need to go on?

Okay, it stars Paul Newman, the greatest actor ever. Put on some skates and let’s dance if you think otherwise. Did I mention it has lots of fighting? Newman even wears a full-length fur coat and carries it off like a dad who could beat up your dad. And it’s directed by George Roy Hill, acclaimed director of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. (There’s an awesome movie, too.)

It also has sex. Exposed breasts. Card playing. Beer drinking. Hell, it even has lesbians! Hockey and lesbians. Can you say peanut butter and jelly?

And did I mention it has lots of fighting? It has the Hanson Brothers, triplet goons with the mental faculties of small children who play hockey with their fists. It has Dave “Killer” Carlson. Who doesn’t like a sports movie with someone named “Killer“? Pansies, that’s who, so don’t be one.

Not sold yet? The film also ends with a classic striptease on ice. There, that should be enough of a hook. Rent it. Buy it. Love it. I do.