The Great Lindell

Magician:
All righty, for my next trick I’m going to need an assistant from the audience. Any volunteers?

People in the audience raise their hands.

Magician:
You there sir, come on up here please.

Jay walks up onto the stage.

Magician:
What’s your name sir?

Jay:
James.

Magician:
Ok here’s what I would like you to do. Pick up that sledge hammer right there.

Jay picks up the sledge hammer.

Magician:
Now you’ll vouch for me that that is in deed a real sledge hammer?

Jay:
Yes sir it sure is.

Magician:
How much would you say it weighs?

Jay:
About three kilos.

Magician:
Right, now what I want you to do is when I say so I want you to hit me over the head with that three kilo sledge hammer, ok.

Jay:
Oh I don’t know. I don’t know if I feel comfortable with that.

Magician:
Don’t worry it’s perfectly safe. I’ve done this hundreds of times.

Jay:
Really?

Magician:
Actually no, this is the first time. But don’t worry, this is totally safe.

Jay:
Alright.

The magician does a little chant and then bends over at the waist.

Magician:
Ok James are you ready?

Jay:
I guess so.

Magician:
Ok, hit me.

Jay raises the hammer over his head and then brings it down directly on the magician head. (thud) the magician hits the floor and doesn’t make a move. Blood starts to puddle around his head. A woman from the front row screams. Paramedics swarm the scene and start shouting out orders to each other. Cut to Jay sitting in a hospital room at the magician’s bedside. Jay is totally distraught and scared that the magician, whose head is bandaged up, is going to die.

Jay:
I’m so sorry The Great Lindell. Please don’t die.

Days go by, then weeks and months. Jay never leaves The Great Lindell’s side. Then after about six months Jay is sitting in at the magician’s side reading him a book when all of a sudden the magician sits up in his bed scaring Jay.

JAY:
Oh my god! You’re awake!

Magician:
(Turning to Jay) Ta da!

End of sketch