EROTIC MOVIE REVIEW

Rod:
Hello and welcome back to E.M.R. I’m Todd “The Rod” Johnson.

Big Willy:
And I’m “Big” Willy Purplehead. This week on Erotic Movie Review we’ll be taking a LONG, HARD look at Cum and Cummer.

Rod:
It takes from the Jim Carey hit Dumb and Dumber. It stars Jimmy Scrooowell and Mighty Joe Hung in the lead rolls. It also stars last year's Best Newcumer award winner Tawny “Hot Lips” Hullahan as Mary Shlongson.

B.W:
It’s an erotic comedy that’s both comical AND erotic. I gave it a big stiffy straight up.

Rod:
I agree B.W. This movie had me splitting my sides and filling my Kleenexes. I also gave it a big stiffy straight up.

BW:
The second movie we’re reviewing is Spider-Chick Does Manhattan.

Rod:
I didn’t really get this movie.

BW:
Me neither. I mean she’s supposed to be a super hero and all she does is swing around the city capturing guys in her vagina web to have sex with them. She doesn’t even fight any crimes. I mean come on.

Rod:
And you know guys it’s probably not a good idea to go into any dark places where you have to remove the cobwebs from the entrance, if you know what I mean. I did however enjoy the theme song.

BW:
Yea, that was catchy. I think we have it cued up so let's take a listen to it.

BW and Rod bob their heads to the old school Spider-Man theme music that plays with these lyrics:

Spider-Chick Spider-Chick
Can’t resist to suck a dick
Slings her web at horny guys
Catches dudes just like flies
Watch out! Here comes the Spider-Chick
Is she hot?
Listen Joe
She’s got nuclear camel toe
Put away your money
She’s not a whore
A hot orgasm is her reward
Watch out! Here comes the Spider-Chick
If you’re lucky
You’ll meet the Spider-Chiiiick!

BW:
The song was fun but the movie was lame. I give it a low and lazy, soggy doggy.

Rod:
I “cum”-ker.

Rod and BW laugh at what Rod had said.

BW:
That’s all the time we have for tonight.

Rod:
But we’ll see you again real soon.

BW:
Until then fellas, may all your money shots hit the spot.

Rod:
And if not, ladies keep your eyes closed.

Credits roll to funky porn music