Amateur? Not Quite!

Forward, Backward, Upward and Downward or Doing Time with My Story

Today, I have finished rewriting my "prison drama...and a romantic drama" script.

When I first wrote the story, I have the protagonist executed at the end and his father-in-law and wife buried him in a family plot. However, I was inspired by the story of John "Babbacombe" Lee ("The Man They Couldn't Hang"). Then I was thinking, "What if the protagonist survives the attempts of execution?" Also, some friends commented that the ending was so sad, and they want to see if the protagonist can live with his wife as a freeman. After compiling the information, I started writing the "alternative ending" and it took me four years to finish.

Yes, I had written a crazy story at that time (in my opinion).

Therefore, my current version of script is a condense of two stories.

While I wrote the first version for my scriptwriting course, I made a couple changes on the story: this included adding a couple characters and deleting a couple characters (even one that I think I should not taken him out). On the other hand, when my classmates knew about the script and the ending, they just said, "I can't accept it!"

After finishing the diploma, I was thinking about challenging my skill as scriptwriter. I took one more look on the manuscript. The challenge came up: retelling the story with the happy ending!

It took me some time to start up. Even though I have been "doing time" with this story since 2001, I did not know how to start the story. Then, I thought of "English Patient", the film that I won't challenge again but the structure worth to take a look. I never went through it, but it gives me an insight of how to start the story.

While I wrote the script, the challenge surfaced: How am I going to condense the story? Since there were scenes that I don't need to type again (But I still want to try typing script with a typewriter! Yup! The Remington one...), I wrote in between tabs. This time, I went to my favourite script: The Shawshank Redemption.

"The Shawshank Redemption" is an excellent example for voice over. Under the influence, I "blindly" wrote the voice over, narrating the story with the voice of the characters, sync with the style of how I wrote the novel. And I used the skill of radio-play at the end of the script.

At first, I don't think that there is something "wrong" with the "narrating voice over". However, the feeling of "wrong" when I tried to fix all the typos and grammar mistake (sometimes, I really want to kill myself over those stupid mistakes). I reread the last part, and the second voice over....and the voice over....it just didn't "sound" right in one particular place. It gives me a rethink about using voice over.

The next thing I did, is putting Billy Wilder's advises to screenwriter on my desktop (I'm also a Photoshop geek). One of his advises is about voice over...and then, I realize what's "wrong" with the voice over.

For this version of the script, I always have the problem with the length. Previously, I had 129 pages, which is pretty long of someone's first script. And I always try my best to shorten the script. However, there is too many details for the story....I may be lost.

I think I never told you guys about my first script: My first script is a radio-play.

This story is about how other characters think about the protagonist, how this prisoner affect their life. Therefore, "fact" is not quite important. The most important thing for this story, is how these characters feel.

The conclusion I have drawn: Let them do the talking!

I started deleting most of the voice over and wrote the VOs in dialog style, not to mention that I had reconstructed a couple scene, with one thing in my mind: LET THE FEELING OF THE CHARACTERS GO THROUGH!

Right now, I trimmed down to 125 pages....not bad, eh?

I never realized that I have solved this problem by going back to my basic. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say.

Well, it should be the time for me to start "Sea Max", even though it official begins!

Nov 16, 2009 6:15 PM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content

On My Mark...and GO!!!

It seems that I haven't written anything for all blogs for some time. Yes...previously, I was not in the mood of writing, and I am troubled what I should write, as I stated in the last entry. Not to mention the bad coughing (and it still goes on and on...), a cold that knocked me out of work for two night and my eldest brother's visiting (hockey, computer, driving...and stuff we can talk...)

In order to "exercise" for my creativity, I am writing a Takarazuka Revue role-playing fanfic, adopting Akira Kurosawa's "Seven Samurai". It really gives me some warm up and helps me to get the juice flowing! Also, I am currently managing the fanfic sub-forum of a Takarazuka Revue fan forum of Mainland China. This will give me motivation to write. (Hopefully...since some people like to ask, "When will you have the new chapter on?")

For the "prison drama...and the romantic drama", I think I need to have a break from the story. Therefore, I may leave the Christmas story and the blog that I will put the story up undone for a while. Like I said before, it is my most important and the most favourite one, but it can drag me down from writing new stories. However, I hope that I can produce the script of this story one day. Currently, I only do some grammar and spelling correction on this script...maybe some condensing, but not much...and taking Edmond Dante's words, "Wait and Hope". This will be the script I will bring in for the full length script workshop at Boston in December, organized by the Bluecat Scriptwriting Competition.

Also, I had talked with Mike, my script adviser (who still has not given me the studio note yet, but he gives me so many good advises and I know that he is a very good mentor.), about my project "Sea Max" (and I let him to read all my rough material!). Even though he has suggested something I am intended to do so (like "going with the male version first and keep the female version under my sleeves, and NEVER NEVER say a word that there is a second movie!"), however he is the one that gives me the courage to go on (although he suggest me to have a writing partner for this project, since my first language is not English and the slangs of a Supermax will be a total new horizon for me...and of course! I can buy a Slang dictionary!).

While having the ignition to move forward, I open Contour, the outlining software I had bought some time ago.

I had played with the software by putting the points of Sea Max when I got the software. However, I don't know how I can go further when I get into outlining the act 1.

Yes, the next thing is: I was frustated, and I didn't know how to go on.

So, I export a couple examples from the software (Slumdog Millionaire, The Dark Knight and Wall-E), go through them in order to see how it works.

However, I got more frustrated because I cannot see the whole story!

Then, I have done some rethinking. And a suggestion from my scriptwriting teacher from the college sprang up.

He once suggested me to work on the script from the end and up. At first I think it may not a good approach for the script that I was working.

However, it can work for the outlining of this project...since I know the ending of the story!

Therefore, I "hammered" a couple "nails" in the and act 2b and act 3. Then I went back to act 1, letting my "pathetic" protagonist to meet his old foe from the war on the floating prison.

Also, Contour has a really good guide for the user about putting the plot point in the right place. I just simply jogged around the form and now I have only one blank left! After filling that blank, I will go on writing the character draft (just my habit) and the treatment!

One thing about Contour that troubled me is the "Yes/No" plotting from Act 2. The protagonist of "Sea Max" does not take side, but he acts by his conscience (that's why he gets a prison guard as sidekick). On the other hand, the antagonist need to have the control of the ship ASAP. Their actions are so quick and brutal. Therefore, I put point of the "No" and left the "Yes" blank sometimes.

Gradually, I go further on...seeing how the protagonist and his "ward" interact. Both are soldiers (The protagonist is a former SEAL and the "ward" is a young Canadian military police on loan to the company that runs the prison fleet). For the protagonist, his "ward" is too green to understand what he has gone through in the battlefield. For the "ward", he can learn some skill that he cannot get in his training from the protagonist. So I push this forward bit by bit...all I need to get the "ward" into some "deep shit" (please forgive my language).

Even though I will still say that I have not seen the whole story of "Sea Max" yet. However, I am going to put my foot on this project. Hopefully, I can pitch it next year and get myself a representative in the business. Then I am planning getting a couple of friends from Hong Kong to form a writing team. I think working our way from West to East is much better for us.

P.S. When Mike replied my emails, he has a suggestion of having a different name for the company that runs the prison fleet, since the original name is sterotyped and "could be viewed as an amateur move (which, again, you are not amateur)." Therefore, getting back to the title of the blog: "Amateur? Or Not Quite?"...Probably, I need to change to "Amateur? Not Quite!" Haha!

Oct 9, 2009 3:09 PM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content

On the Crossroad....On Your Mark

Well, the publisher from Hong Kong that I worked as a contract translator last year sent me an email last week. Telling me that I should receive my first royalty check within a couple weeks, the check's worth around USD $100.

The salary of this job helps me pay almost half of my college loan. With my current job (even it is not really good-paid one), I can pay back the loan in November of this year. Then, my next goal is probably the Think Tank of the Writers Boot Camp or a couple writer's fest down in States.

Despite how excited my family, who never approved me to be a writer in the past, I don't think this is "my book", because I am a mere translator.

Right now, I'm sort of on the crossroad...along with a writer's block (the worst of all).

I am looking up to the direction signs: pointing "Novel" and "Screenplay".

Actually, it is a pretty tough choice.

Even I have contacted a potential agency that can represent me, I'm still waiting for the studio note from my script adviser (it seems to be taking him a century to do that..). Apparently, I am standing very still on my road to be a scriptwriter.

I have the skill, I have the script (quite presentable, minus the grammar). But I just need to expose to the right people. This is what I can do when I finish paying the loan and need to pray that I won't have any big expense from my family.

I am hoping to get on next "Take a Meeting" in NYC...plus I have a choice of going to Boston for a one day full-length screenplay workshop at Boston, which fits in my days off in December.

(Thanks God that I've found out that I have enough nearly-expired air miles for one round-trip air ticket to the States, particularly Boston.)

Right now, I have an two ideas, one is a romantic comedy with a young chef in a foreign place, and my choice is Hong Kong, the place I really always call "home". In this idea, the young chef will be the only American/Canadian character, and the rest should be Chinese Hong Kong-E.

When I told my script adviser about this idea, he thinks this is quite a bold idea.

Right now, I have the treatment and characters setting ready. And I am trying my best to write the first draft...

The other one is what I call "Sea Max", a floating supermax prison.

This could be my second idea that is related to prison and incarnation, since my first script is a prison drama...and a romantic drama (pretty odd, eh?).

I even have a male version and female version.

The male version will be something like "Rambo" and Steve Seagal movies (honestly, I see not one of them): one against all with a twist of buddy movie (the sidekick beside the lone ranger). The female is a story of escape. Both are action-packed.

I have some raw character draft for both version. For the male version, I have a synopsis and logline prepared, and the text pitch is sitting quietly in the Pitch Perfect. Right now, it is in the "beat" stage (Beatsheet writing).

For the female version, it is merely in the "thinking" stage, even though I can see the characters: a street-smart petty criminal, a well-educated murderess, a helpless mother, a cruel guard etc.

However, I just can't feel writing these because I don't know if I can go any further.

(Yup...I'm such a pathetic, a person lack-of-confidence...)

This is really one thing that stop me writing (not to mention job and taking care of my family)...the fear of unknown.

On the other hand, there are two Chinese fictions I am either working on or planning on.

One of them is a fantasy story, for my nieces. This is something I would like to try, since I always like mythology.

I need to talk about how I got that translation contract.

They put on the "Author/Translator Wanted" poster in one of the Chinese restaurants in Chinatown here in Ottawa, and I just happened to spot it. I tore it down and sent them the email. At the same time, I also sent a sample of my story (the "prison drama...and a romantic drama") to them. However, they think the story is too dark for their target audiences. Therefore, I worked as a translator instead.

After a mini business dinner, I got to know about their position in the market. Also, there is some one kind of encourage me to try fantasy story...

However, the trigger is a dream.

There was one night, I dreamt myself at the center of a road that is near to where I live in Hong Kong (The reason I use presence tense is because I am "technically" living there. There is one of the addresses that can find me). I saw an ugly big bird with human head soared low, grabbed a man from the road and soared back high into the sky.

Then I dropped down a series of points, ideas for this project. The only thing I need to see clearly is the plot. Otherwise, I can start my "thrown-up" draft and hopefully, ready for the next year's Hong Kong Book fair. However, not a single Chinese character yet (bad~~~).

In this case, I can predict where I can go, but the story is not quite ready yet.

So pathetic, right?

The other, which I am working on and have continuously worked on, is the story that has transformed me to writer.

Yes, That "prison drama...and a romantic drama".

I am glad that I can write that story. It may not be a good one...but there is so many things I can expend.

It is an universe without border.

Even though I have no story about the protagonist now, I have stories about his son. Currently, I am writing one version of this story as a role-playing fanfic. The name of the story is "I'll be Home for Christmas". At the end, the son, who was hurt by the truth and left home suddenly, will go back home, saying at the door, "Mom, dad, I'm home!"

(Sorry, this is all I can tell you :-P)

Plus, I am planning to put this story online on a blog, rather than self-publishing (I don't have the money, but I have the book number) or sending to the publishers, who may send the manuscript into the shredder (Most of the publishers in Hong Kong are f**king idiots). While I reorganize the manuscript, I add some more into the story since I've added a couple new characters while I wrote the script. I think this will add some dimension to the story...

This is my most favorite project (that is why I come back to this one), also my deadliest one.

As a writer/storyteller, when you keep on coming back to one story, it could mean that you lose your motivation to create new stuff. There is time I told myself to move on, even urging myself to start a crime/action project. However, I have run too many plots in this project (one of the disadvantages of using actresses of Takarazuka Revue for role-playing :-P) and it seems to be out of control. Finally, I need to halt and do the rethinking.

Then I went back to my old project, for convenience (as I have said in a couple entries ago).

I clearly understand the danger of "not leaving the safety net", especially a person rely on creativity for living. The only thing we can do is to continuously go on without hesitation (sound like a fugitive on the run). However, it is also an instinct of a human being to seek or go back to what you feel comfortable.

However, it is just my instinct as a storyteller to improve the story.

Honestly, I am pretty greedy person. I only have one body, and just a pair of legs. But I want to get on both direction.

Since I can see my advantage as a writer, using the language Chinese, writing novel in Chinese. Plus I have known the right person that may assist me to achieve this goal.

On the other hand, not only I am disappointed in the movie industry of Hong Kong, but also it is tough for me, a Chinese Canadian who had not been in Hong Kong quite a while and received education here in Canada, to work as a scriptwriter in Hong Kong. If you are not in the network, you won't have a chance to have your script into the hand of a producer.

This is told by a friend of mine in Hong Kong, an experienced, talented amateur theater producer. She has a romantic comedy script in Chinese/Cantonese, which I think it can be pitched to producers here in North America. It is possible for us to work together to fix the script.

As a matter of fact, I enjoy writing script in English.

Why not getting greedy?

Aug 9, 2009 10:22 AM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content

"You're so English!"

One day, when I was in the security office, talking with my boss. I said, "My mom will fetch me my lunch..."

After I had said that word, my boss, a Canadian who is official bilingual (he has a Scottish root, had joined the Black Watch, but he learned French rather than English when he was a kid), said, "You're so English!"

"Of course! I'm from Hong Kong, right?"

This brings up my another experience while I was new in Canada, studying ESL in high school:

It was the beginning of the term and I was busy on getting student union card and the student discount card of TTC (Toronto Transit Commission). And I was late to my English class. I went into the classroom and said, "I'm sorry being late. I'd been queuing up for nothing!"

When I said this out, my ESL teacher took this as an example: the different vocabulary use between American way and British way.

At that time, I realized using the word "queue" is the British way of saying. The American way saying is "I'd being lining up for nothing!"

(Even though we use the word "queue" for data analysis, describing the situation "first in, first out")

Well well, I need to talk about my "nightmarish" primary school life (that's why I'm cynical! Also, except for the knowledge I'd absorbed, I am not grateful for that).

This is a school that is run by some nuns, previous by British convert. When I was studying there, an American convert started taking care the management (no change of teaching staff) and the school became an all girl school (it was a boys and girls school previously).

I remember we used mathematics textbooks from the States (which introduced me to some American history), and penmanship book from States too! When I was in Grade 4, we used the simplified Readers' Digest textbook for English literature class (I still remember we came across a story about Philippe Petit did the tightrope at the World Trade Center). Yes, it is also from America! Therefore, we came across the American spelling like "color", "neighbor", "harbor" and "center", the teacher would said, "Add the 'u' between 'o' and 'r'."

It was quite ridiculous. However, we still lived under the British flag, right?

You can still notice such kind of mingling when I speak. "Tissue" versus "Kleenex"/"Napkin", "'Left'-tenant" versus "'Lou'-tenant" (both are for rank "Lieutenant", but different pronunciation)...

Canada is pretty strange in speaking English: Even she is in North America, the people keep in "British" way. But you still can't avoid the "American" way: Because when we talk about "Pearl Harbor", we spell "Harbor", not "Harbour", since it is a place in the States.

There was one time and one occasion that I have heard that American culture is dominating the world. Actually, it is quite true, since my mom listened to songs sang by Patti Page, Doris Days etc. when she was a teenager. And then she introduces me to those classic songs. Not to mention my dad is keen on movies and stars from Hollywood.

Thanks God that I have a chance to watch "Law and Order: UK" (since I'm a fan of Law and Order franchise) and notice the significance difference between the dialogs. It gives some insight of writing.

I know I cannot mock my way as a British writer, but my mingle sells me out...

This is just a part of me.

Jul 21, 2009 9:34 AM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content

What is "writing script in English" to me, a Chinese Canadian, means?

Even though I live in Canada for more than a decade, not to mention I'm a big fan on a couple major crime TV series and Star Trek, never experience any Traditional Chinese belief (I am the third generation Christian, and yes, from Hong Kong...a long family story...let my dad tells you one day :-P). I'm also a big fan of Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Jakob Dylan. On the other hand, I'm the only Chinese on my team at work, I've friends from different ethical backgrounds, and I can say functional fouls in English!

However, English is NOT my first language.

(Yes, this fact surprised a script consultant who is going to read the latest draft of my script.)

Since Hong Kong was a British colony back when I was a kid and English is one of the official language (Please don't tell me it is not right now), I learned my ABC when I was in kindergarten. I was in a junior school that is operated by an American convert (while I was attending) and damn yes, it is so Western and "elegant". They taught almost everything in English (except Chinese and Social Science). Because I loved the English Literature and Chinese class back then, I developed the passion of creative writing (like I've said in the last entry).

But my first story was written in CHINESE (and don't ask me what it is about, 'cause I DON'T REMEMBER!). For a kid, it is normal to write in his/her mother-tongue. And I don't think I had written anything in English until Grade 11 (I was still in H.K. back then): our English teacher wanted us to write ANYTHING weekly. That was the time I first dropped down ideas in English.

Even when I first came to Canada, I still wrote stories in Chinese. I had even produced a small gospel drama while I was in the university.

It seems that I never thought of doing creative writing in English, and never thought of scriptwriting.

Until I wrote a simple spy-thriller (paying tribute to John Woo's "Once a Thief"), I finally had the idea of writing a movie script.

At that time, I started struggling in university.

Actually, I was struggling on everything: want to get more time to write, fed up with things I did not like, feeling I was at my limitation on studying.

Finally, I "crashed", I "hanged", "system halt".

I got time to stop...it is that time I wrote a Chinese novel...the one that transform me from amateur to somewhat professional on fiction writing.

Of course, I would like to write in Canada...i.e. make a living. Writing in Chinese would not bring me to this far. Therefore, I need to look into training on creative writing.

But the problem is: my first language is not English. My vocabulary is not enough. I may know the word, but use it plain.

This tells me: if you want to write in English, try to think in English--just like writing in Chinese!

Since I have limitation on writing novel, I think I should try to tell the story by picture and sound.

When I took screenwriting at the college, I was lazy to write something new. Therefore, I took the story I had been working for a couple year (and YES! The novel that transformed me!), wrote it in form of script as assignment for the class.

While I was doing that transition, I can see the difference of telling a story in English and in Chinese. Also, this gives me a chance to rewrite the story. Since I am using another language (not to mention different media) to retell story, it means that I need to spend more time to write the script.

Yup! I prepared the treatment and character documents of the script that I used for my assignment in the fall term. I started writing it during Christmas. When the winter term began, I had most of the assignment done (except the logline). And I'm the first one to hand in the first draft.

Syd Field stated in "Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting" that the average for people is writing up ten pages a day. However, it is "ten pages a week" for me. Because I will stumble on words and grammar, also the way to describe the scene.

For my first script(s), I have two drafts of the version I'm pitching and three drafts for the basic version. However, there is infinity of draft between draft number one and two!

I will use both languages to tell stories, because I can always have new perspective and rethinks on the stories.

Chances to tell a good story!

Jul 3, 2009 3:26 AM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content

Amateur? Or Not Quite?

This is one of my "many" blog over the internet. But I consider this is my "official" English blog, since I have one official blog (in Chinese, of course! But I have two sites for that), one for writing Takarazuka fanfic (not to mention two more clone of this one, thanks to one of the most wonderful words in this world: censorship.) and one for dropping down ideas at work.

At first, I never think of starting another blog, because it may be too much to handle. Also, working as a security guard in one of craziest department here in Ottawa means lesser than to coup (however, I manage to write...in somehow). Not to mention family time (I live with my parents); time to idle, sleep, watching TV...It appears to me that "you have lesser time than you think".

Anyway, I still need to promote myself to the right people in order to make steps further towards my goal (to be a "working" scriptwriter). And Storylink provide me a suitable space to do so. Therefore...here I come!

Let's get back to the title (as well as the title for this blog): Amateur? Or Not Quite?

I have developed the passion on writing since I was a preteen. I wrote a couple of short script (stage or radio) during my secondary school years (FYI: Secondary School in Hong Kong AND in the time I attended is Grade 7 to Grade 12 in North American system). I would drop down ideas on those weekly English "unrestricted" composition assignment.

When I first came to Canada, I never stop writing. I remembered I wrote an anti-war story about a troop of teenage reservists being captured by hostile army. However, some family members just did not like me writing and kind of "restricted" me to choose Computer studies as a major for university.

Seriously, I hate this with passion and like Marlon Brando in "On the Waterfront", I kind of being "a bum".

(That's why I like the quote from that movie:

"You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley."

Because this is something I really want to throw to those family members.)

Jumping from school to school, I also tried to get a job. Thanks God I landed on a job as an office assistance at a Chinese community news agency. Even though the job title is "office assistance" (or "executive assistance"), I was involved in editing, graphic designing and even reporting for the newspaper.

Yes, it was a job that allow me to write, and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I lost the job after a year due to political reason.

After a stay in Hong Kong (working with one family member, ended up receiving zero cent for work), I came back and decided to finish my studies by enrolling to TV-Broadcasting program offered by a community college. Two years later, I was graduated from the program.

However, my goal is always set to be a "working" scriptwriter. I would like to go furthermore to receive relevant education. I applied to the scriptwriting program offered by the same college, but could not make the cut. At the same time, I landed on my first translation contract with a publisher in Hong Kong (and working as a part time security guard).

Currently, I worked as a full time security guard at the Department of Foreign Affair and International Trade (a.k.a. DFAIT). And I have finished my first two scripts and continue on other projects on my own.

In most of the aspect, I am an AMATEUR at all!

However, I received relevant education from college (Well, at least I know the format of an English movie script). I improve myself by reading books and magazines about storytelling and screenwriting. I even read my friends' script and provide "somewhat" professional opinions. Some people from certain fans community may ask me about skills on storytelling.

I may not be a "working" writer. However I am more than an amateur.

I think all I need is agent or credit.

Jun 25, 2009 10:04 PM | Link | Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Content